Wait... its been 2 years? Day 13 of 2022

Wait... its been 2 years? Day 13 of 2022

Every year I have the best intentions of actually writing about my thoughts, and my life’s adventures in here. And I’ll promise to keep up more and fail again, but hey why not try again. I’ve decided to try and create a brand of averageness out of my life’s adventures.

First step, create some sort of consistent social media presence with both sides of my life. I’ve had this duality for a while, where Photographer Kurt exists and Everything else Kurt exists. I’m trying to make that split even more defined. So now there are two instagram profiles for me, just like I have two separate websites along with a photography FB / personal FB.

The instagram split is as follows:
@dontbekurt - everything but serious “professional” photography stuff

@kurthutchinson - photography

I’ll probably have some sort of blurring of the lines for a while since my photography instagram has essentially been a social conduit for everything me (insta-stories)

And about the 2 years, well 2020 started with the sadness of Kobe dying, and then boom pandemic.. 2022 seems to me, to be the year where we grasp whatever the new norm is. Living with Covid as it hopefully mutates to a less lethal form. (Lord willing)

Anyways, those who follow me on the socials be it instagram or FB, you all are aware what I’ve been up to since I last posted, but let make a quick bulleted list of 2020 and 2021 things.

2020 -

  • Got the E30 (BMW 318i) to a sort of complete status (ideally it needs to be painted and dent/rust removal all that)

  • Got a new dog

  • Made a trip to the Colorado, oddly while we were there we had some of the most flavorful sushi (whodathunkit)

  • Went to the Hospital for a week right before Christmas (not covid).

  • Painted the entire home (ceiling and walls)

  • Created a fully Atmos equipped basement theater

  • Made a trip to Florida (visit family)

2021 -

  • Replaced every overhead light fixture in house

  • Renovated 1 bathroom in the house (more to go)

  • Bought into a record label (onesourcerecords.com)

  • Travelled to Hawaii / NYC (both trips to visit family)

  • Sold my 1st house (both in the fact it was the first house I’ve owned, and its the 1st house I’ve sold)

  • Decided to buy an over-sized SUV (I love this thing more than I thought I would)

  • Went back to hospital for another week!!! (still not covid)

  • Finally participated in a PCA (Porsche Club of America) driving event

  • Helped a friend present a 1995 Mustang GT (Which ended up placing 2nd in its class)

  • Bought a Mini Cooper S to restore with my Uncle

  • Learned Cloud Formation under duress (more on that another time)

  • With a good friend restored a Macintosh SE/30 back to working order

So 2022.. not sure what I’m gonna get done this year. I have some goals, pray more, travel more, eat more, laugh more, be as present as I possibly can be to all my loved ones, follow through on at least one of my grandiose business plans. :)

The one about Kobe - Day 29 of 2020

The one about Kobe - Day 29 of 2020

…When it comes to Kobe, it was an interesting parallel because, he was close to my age (just a year younger) and so driven to be the best. As I learned more facts about him, growing up in Italy, speaking multiple languages, embracing life, embracing culture, to me I found a way to be his fan outside of basketball…

A Eulogy for Buttercup

A Eulogy for Buttercup

Buttercup.... 

 

(Deep Breath) 

Our family pet was put to rest today. She was 13.5 years old, we were lucky to have her from her 8th week of life til now. I want to say I was prepared for this, and I really thought I was. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t prepared to see my teenaged sons upset over her passing, I wasn’t prepared for my wife’s panicked conversation with me the day prior that something is wrong with Buttercup. I didn’t know that when I went to check on her yesterday, her standing up to greet me would be the last time. I didn’t know the walk to my neighbors house to pickup some  mail would be the last time we would get to go for a walk. 

Im sorry that your last car ride was to the place you despised the most.  

 

Buttercup came to us from a farm in Wentzville Missouri, I met one of my family members in a parking lot at a Walmart (who was also picking up a dog), where I received Buttercup, not realizing the roller coaster, the friend, the protector, that I was picking up.  Buttercup was our family’s first for real pet, while we enjoyed dogs, I know that I just didn’t understand the depths of a human dog relationship. It’s much deeper than I understood.  

FullSizeRender.jpg

Buttercup immediately thought she was one of the boys, chasing them home after Denise let her off the leash was an immediate favorite. During this time of our life, she was an outdoor dog, mainly because we just didn’t know better. There were a lot of painful moments as people would harass her in the backyard, and I want to believe that this turned her into a fierce protector of us (well as fierce as a lab can be) .

During the second half of her life, she became an indoor dog, running around the house barking at the mail man, and just traveling the neighborhood to drink out of the neighbors fountain.  

i could share many stories of her silliness. and probably type pages upon pages over her greediness for food and her love for people .  

She was the right dog for our season. She gave me confidence that my family would be safe when I was away. She truly was man’s best friend. 

 

 

 

IMG_0463.JPG
FullSizeRender.jpg

The one about an article I read: Good, Evil, and our Two Party System

The one about an article I read: Good, Evil, and our Two Party System

America has been self-limited to a two party system, one where fiscal and morality positions have complete relativism. Ideally one would think that both parties want what’s best for the country. Outside of these two parties, you have the rest of America wondering how did we get here, and why are we stuck here.

The one about a fortune that wasn’t: Day 4 of 365 (2018)

I went out for soup dumplings with my wife and some friends (their treat).

IMG_0854.JPG

After a demo on how to eat the dumplings, we tore through our “appetizers” and headed to De Palm tree for dinner. We were foiled as De Palm tree was still closed for the holidays. Next door the restaurant Pho Long was still opened. We sat, we ate, we laughed. At the end the scintillating finish involved the opening of the fortune cookie.  

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_0857.JPG

I cracked open mine and Denise’s (she didn’t want to participate appropriately). The second one opened made me laugh since it wasn’t a fortune, it was literally my personal life mission.  

 

 

The one about sneakers: day 3 of 365

I’m not a super appreciater of sneakers. However, I do appreciate design in most things of the world. I also love bargains. Because of that, this happened. 

 

 

IMG_0845.JPG

They are comfortable, I think they look nice. Looking forward to a thawing out so I can wear them outside of the house.  

Let's try this again: The One About Day 1 & 2 of 365 | 2018 Edition

I didn't write at all in here last year. Didn't know what to record, didn't know what to think of everything going on. Most of all, I some how missed some joy. 

Anyways, I'm going to try and do this picture a day thing. I try it every year and I think I miss the point every year. Turning into something more than it should be. A quality shot can be the mundane. Here goes:

Day 1 of 365:

first moon of the year on the first night. NeatFrigid  (was 5F at this time outside)

first moon of the year on the first night. Neat
Frigid  (was 5F at this time outside)

Day 2 of 365

 

Dinner with friends, starting the New Year off right. I try hard to catch up with friends, start every year with the best intentions of catching everyone at least once. Life is too short, let's find a way friends!

Dinner with friends, starting the New Year off right. I try hard to catch up with friends, start every year with the best intentions of catching everyone at least once. Life is too short, let's find a way friends!

The one about needing Jesus to take the wheel

The one about needing Jesus to take the wheel

For all the people:

 

I have been having an internal struggle for the past few weeks. I’m a Christian who is suddenly having fear of the unknown. I’m a black man who worries for those who aren’t used to being marginalized. I’m a father who is worried about the future of this world for his children. I’m a Husband who is worried for his wife, mother, sisters, and lady friends that in this country are living in an increasingly hostile world. I’m an employee who is worried for his employment future.

 

I’m a man who on the same day can be called an “Uncle Tom”, when explaining that we can survive this and its not as bad as it looks; But within that same day I can be called a fear monger for sharing the experiences of others who have been mistreated or hurt.

I’m a tax-payer who is looked upon as a hater when critical of Police and those in public office, or another unmentionable for supporting those serving the public.

What does all this mean? My same consistent message is received differently depending on who you are, and how you decide to read me.

 

In my spirit of concern, I pray for a calming of my soul. I seek understanding for what I don’t understand. I’ve seen some of my Christian brothers and sisters apologize for potentially hurting people. To be honest I’m not there yet. Not that I don’t apologize when I’m wrong, but I want to be sincere if/when I have to apologize. Being called a fear monger was something that gave me pause, but is sharing what has occurred to others wrong? I don’t agree.

I do reflect on 1st Peter 2:15-16  -> For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God.

But what’s good, I find myself asking that.  Is communicating that people are hurt a good thing? Many take my points sooo poorly that I find myself questioning it. I keep hoping that it would trigger some sort of empathy and want to make the hurt stop. And in a way It hurts. People in my life seem unwilling to bend.  Living free in their own world, but with minimal regard to others. I’m not calling that evil, but it also doesn’t seem that this freedom is being ultimately used as a vehicle for God. Biblically, I feel like we as Christians are like the ancient Israelites/Jewish folk who grew tired of waiting for God during Moses time and are now seeking a savior in something false, and with that we are in for a bumpy road while God holds his steady light house as we find our way back to him.


On a secular point I have been forced to reflect on the campaign and presidency of President Barrack Obama. Did he promote a message that made people feel unsafe? While he didn’t promote prolife for the unborn, he seemed like he was a champion of pro-life for other lives. (There is a balance there that I don’t think that people who are pro-life think about). A lot of his policies were considered socialist by his detractors, but I never felt that this was necessarily a bad thing. But that’s where it would stop with President Obama. His policies. And debating the merit of what he wanted to do vs. McCain or Romney was a pure political philosophical debate.

I would love to know if the fears that have overwhelmed me are the same fears for people that opposed Obama had felt. I’d like to understand why. What was said by Obama that was so fearful? Who was brought to Obama’s cabinet that brought the divisiveness we are seeing in these selections thus far. I think many people forget that the ever present biases that exist in this country, as far as laws are concerned and their application, literally terrorize those who are on the negative side of the bias. The idea that things will be enforced more tightly with no regards to problems in our justice system is very fearful.

Many people are staunch second amendment supporters. Any mention of policies or regulations that could slow down the process of the ownership has been met with strong rebuke. But I find it troubling that the idea of stop and frisk in urban communities doesn’t bring the same rebuke or concern? Doesn’t this intrude on freedom? Isn’t this just a post ownership process of proving you should have a gun? Will this be applied evenly? The previous implementation of Stop and Frisk was ruled unconstitutional due to how it was implemented. But again the gun community remains silent.


For those who are encouraged by the role of Trump restoring jobs to rural America. Cool, but there seemed to be a callousness to the blight of the urban core of America which began to crumble long ago as jobs dried up. Drugs took over many neighborhoods and a lot of the conversation turned negative with regards to the urban core. The push towards labeling of black people as being lazy became a thing. The statement was that there were plenty of jobs, but black people didn’t want to get an education to do them. Today we have the same jobs that require a paradigm shift, but instead Trump is promising to return the extinct jobs back to the American people. So I do have some confusion as to why we weren’t promoting this or attempting to bring back these extinct jobs for minorities back when their cries existed in the 1970s and the 1980s. (During the paradigm shift to white collar banking jobs)

Lord knows I am trying hard to give this a chance, but I’m also lead by the spirit to be a champion of those who are marginalized. And to do that I want to be a vehicle for people to see either side of the argument. 

The one about 1/8 of an inch

The one about 1/8 of an inch

 

 

I heard an interesting take on race where the Carolinas Panthers QB Cam Newton described the difference in human beings comes down to 1/8 of an inch. Its amazing the significance that measurement has. Even more amazing when you realize the measurement is identifying the physical thickness of human skin.

 

This conversation that Cam Newton had came about because of the actions of Colin Kaepernick last week during a San Francisco 49ers preseason football game. A game, where it was noticed, that he was silently sitting during the national anthem of the USA. After the game it was explained by Colin, that he would be sitting until he sees changes in how minorities are treated.

 

Not much shocks me, but I was certainly and genuinely surprised by the amount of heat this man has taken for his actions. I’ve always been impressed by the patriotism that many of my fellow countrymen/women have shown, but in a way I’ve always questioned what the root or genesis of this patriotism comes from for some people in this country. Through this backlash towards Colin, I also learned a lot from those on the other side of this. For one, I did not know that Francis Key’s poem "The Defence of Fort McHenry", which the national anthem is derived from, had two additional stanzas. The third stanza when read could give anyone of color pause.

The third stanza reads:

 

“And where is that band who so vauntingly swore,

That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,A home and a country, should leave us no more?Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.No refuge could save the hireling and slave,From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave.”

 

Now, historically one would note that when this was written, Francis Scott Key is talking about the slaves that jumped sides to Britain. So yes, it gives pause on the brutality of the language, but its talking about slaves that I don’t believe could have been fighting for their freedom with the British, well since the British at that time still had slavery in their Caribbean colonies. But, “the how dare you” feeling of American patriotism is on its finest display in this poem. Key, who himself was pro-slavery, seems to be writing in a way that these slaves deserved what they got for switching sides. Which to me is quite off-putting.

 

With an anthem like that, it gives pause to the sanctity and utter perfection that many patriotic Americans give our flag. The backlash continued as many people considered the behavior to be a slap in the face to the military. Many stated that the military that has given so much for our freedoms have been disrespected by Colin’s behavior. I disagree with these sentiments as well. I can’t correlate using the freedoms that we are granted to make a statement, as an affront to the people who helped grant them.  It feels as if this is treated like this:

A friend makes you a sandwich, you eat it and then say I hate the person who made this sandwich.

Versus

A friend makes you a sandwich, you eat, you say thank you, but mention this sandwich is giving you indigestion.

The first idea there would be the equivalent to what I think those who are upset with Colin are conflating his behavior with.

By sitting, Colin is merely bringing attention to the fact that currently this country needs some Tums. (Something to correct the current climate/behavior of its people)

As a child of immigrants, I’m thankful for the opportunity to grow-up here. But I’m also not naïve enough to believe that its perfect and that we can’t do better. While I’m not one saying we should remove Black History month, but I am one to think it is a shame to relegate the dark part of American history to one month. Black History in America, is American history. It shouldn’t be a separate course; it should be as prevalent in American history as anything else. Perhaps black history month, can be black culture month.

The flag which was established when a black person wasn’t considered fully human needs addressing. Because I think as the stars were added, it is almost like a continuation of what the US was when it started. And I think the USA is not the same place. Once black people were considered fully human, or maybe after the emancipation proclamation the country was recreated. Note, that I realize that life wasn’t that great immediately after the Civil War, but it was a real start.

Now I mention the flag because I don’t see how Old Glory represents all her people. I look back to the flag of my parent’s home country. It is made up of three colors: Green, Gold, and Black.

Gold recalls the shining sun, black reflects hardships, and green represents the land. It was changed to black representing the strength and creativity of the people which has allowed them to overcome the odds, yellow for the golden sunshine, and green for the lush vegetation of the island

Now contrast to our flag here in the USA

"The colors of the pales (the vertical stripes) are those used in the flag of the United States of America; White signifies purity and innocence, Red, hardiness & valour, and Blue, the color of the Chief (the broad band above the stripes) signifies vigilance, perseverance & justice."

 II struggle a little bit here with the purity and innocence part. The concept that the country was built in part by slave labor and considers itself innocent just seems to be counter. And herein lies why I believe there are so many upset with Colin. Our history here has been blanketed to hide our ugly past. In doing so, we deny the story of our slave history, we gloss over the years of mistreatment.

The flag has stood by for: Slave Labor, Jim Crow Laws, the infiltration of the ghetto with drugs, the subsequent was on drugs, Japanese internment camps, unfair lending practices to minorities, voting fraud, gerrymandering.

So with all that, it all comes back to Colin sitting down for that 1/8 of an inch. I love my country and I love all its people. But I just don’t know if this America, where we go on the defense first, catch feelings second is willing to listen first and make positive inclusive changes second.

The one about complacency

The one about complacency

I admit, I’ve been somewhat complacent in my views towards being black in America. Yes I’ve spoke up and shared opinions on the matter. I’ve had discussions on race issues with anyone willing to listen. But I have never allowed myself to really truly believe that the world is against people who share my skin color. But between these horrific crimes that just occurred (Philando Castile and Arlon Sterling) and coincidentally binge watching the CNN show “Anthony Bourdain Parts unknown” I just feel hopeless and am beginning to really wonder if the world is really against black people. This isn’t normal for me, I am firmly rooted in my Christian faith, and I know that this ride isn’t under control of any of us, but I’m still shaken up.

To sit and watch and just see world-wide systems in place that have artificially set so many people backwards. I’m not even talking about the internal oppressive governments like Libya. But more so, South Africa in the mid-late 20th century, where the minority White government instituted Apartheid and held anyone non-white back. Granted they are “free” now, but look how much damage was caused that these people had to recover from. 

The more this  life becomes normalized, the more I feel like I am some sort of anomaly. The Lord granted me and my family grace in that none of us have had issues with the law, were able to get educated, and were able to get jobs and be employed regularly. I don’t say thanks enough in my prayers for this. I never realized how precious this grace has been.

But, why am I an anomaly? I ask this now when I say my prayers. I ask why it feels as if this system requires so much effort to float. The pressure is so immense sometimes. To know (or think) that you can’t make a mistake.

Reading a friends post on facebook reminded as well of these rules that I seem to follow as well:

  • I don't run outside after dark, neither for exercise or if I'm in a hurry. I don't want to give the impression I'm evading anyone.
  • I'm overly polite when I'm alone in elevators with women I don't know. I don't want them to think I mean any harm.
  • I take off/hide my hat and sunglasses if I ever get pulled over. I don't want to give the impression I'm a "thug".


I do all these things (and it is natural now) to mitigate risk.

Yes I’ve swallowed all these thoughts/actions. And that makes me complacent. This grace I’ve been given is for something, I’m still seeking what that is.

My hope certainly doesn’t lie in man to fix this.

The one about realizations

The one about realizations

I'm going to just do a dump of what's in my head. I've been thinking a lot lately trying to sort out my circles of people and the way I interact with them. In seeking valuation for my own thoughts and research I've come to realize that I am squashing others around me. I struggle with factually wrong opinion and historical inaccuracies.  I struggle with hearing ideas that aren't prepared to be probed or poked at.  

What I am discovering though, people need to feel like they are heard. With making corrections or delving for more information I am learning that it makes people feel minimized. I struggle with this mightily. It just seems we live in a world of inaccuracies and slowly we are living in a world where perceptions, not facts will be ruling. Mindshare exceeds market share. And perceptions out weigh the truth. Accusations outweigh actions. And so on and so forth. 

I struggle with maintaining friends because I'm so binary in thinking and enjoy facts. In my circles there isn't a want to be correct, just valued. And I struggle.  

i am trying now. I've decided to just listen. When I'm asked to fact check I'll be happy to oblige. But for now, I think I've reached a point in my life where I feel that allowing others to reach the truth on their own is valuable. 

Pray for me, it is not in my nature to just remain silent when perception rules over the truth.  

The one about #7billionstories Montreal : real growth edition

The one about #7billionstories Montreal : real growth edition

I was recently privileged to participate in a photography workshop hosted by Lance Thurman in Montreal, Quebec. The trip was super interesting from the start. A road trip to Canada, with several people I don't know, being challenged to create art in a foreign place utilizing models I have no prior relationships with.  

 

 

The drive to Montreal provided all the indications that this trip was going to be insanely great. Between a running video commentary of what songs were playing in each car. To the jokes and dancing at each has stop. We all bonded quickly. Unfortunately though we faced an early stress test when we reached the Canada border and one of us were sent back to the USA. However, the show must go on and some of us continued on our  at while one car load retreated to the Detroit airport so that our model who couldn't get through could fly home.  

Gas stop somewhere close to the university of Illinois  

Gas stop somewhere close to the university of Illinois  

We continued through Canada, eventually stopping for a meal in Toronto. Now, those of you who know me, you all know I love sushi. But, I do not love sushi enough to eat on a road trip in a foreign country. 

image.jpg

After our meal, someone decided it was time to stretch their palate and enjoy some sushi. Let's just say it didn't end well, and the bottle of Rolaids I keep in my car was utilized.  

We continued our trek to Montreal. We made several stops, to either switch drivers or for restroom breaks. Now one thing I didn't anticipate was driving 15+ hours and being fresh minded enough to navigate road signs that are in French. They aren't hard to figure out, but after a long day of driving, they might as well be written in kanji or some other non alphabetic character set.   After a few wrong turns and going the wrong way down some one way streets we made it to the first loft. 

The space we were staying at was amazing. To me I liken It to the vibe from Janet jackson's music video "That's the way love goes".  

 

 

Candice having a moment with Naomi Banks.  

Candice having a moment with Naomi Banks.  

Waking up on the first day in Montreal, it was a bit of nervous energy and eagerness to get started. However, we were still with out our leader Lance on this trip so we would have to improvise while we waited for him to arrive with the others. 

image.jpg

Cedric and I decided to do some exploring while we waited. It was rainy and gray outside. No problem as we walked and took in the city.  

 

image.jpg

We discovered a nice camera shop, which had amazing prices. I'll have to give them a shout out after I find my receipt. They were courteous, prices were great. And I didn't feel prejudged when CED and I walked in.  

At this point Gustavo called us and was ready to do some exploring with us. So we ran back to the loft and got in the car to find a grocery store along with some lunch. Of course we don't know where we are going, and the gps in my car seems to be happily ignorant of one way roads and of all the detours that we faced since Montreal appears to be under reconstruction right now. 

Gustavo checking out already prepared food.  

Gustavo checking out already prepared food.  

Finally after twists and turns and U-turns we found an IGA grocery store inside of a shopping mall. Now we all know you should never go into a grocery store hungry. Cedric and Gustavo started meal planning in the store and walked away with Kebobs, a whole chicken, preseasoned leg and thighs, salads. In the meantime I was so hungry I was just thinking about something that I could eat right away. I bought some ready crisp bacon, breakfast ham, pastries, and instant mashed potatoes (irony here is, I absolutely abhor instant potatoes)  .

 

image.jpg

After shopping we figured we should eat now. I ran off to McDonald's (I know it's terrible). Here they have robots that take your order with humans that being the food to you.  

All smiles after our bellies were filled.  

All smiles after our bellies were filled.  

Returning to the loft was an ordeal. Traffic was horrendous and I didn't have a good idea of how to avoid it. Of course I made some wrong turns. But even wrong turns lead to something great.  

 

image.jpg

Cedric, Gustavo, and myself lucked into discovering a view point of the city that we knew would be  useful at some point during this workshop trip.  

Gustavo and myself wanted to see more of the city, so after returning and parking the car. We grabbed our gear and Angela and took a walk. Walking to a set of channels for the river we were enjoying the sites. I was charting  out several places I'd like to shoot (making some assumptions about what the workshop would be about). 

This building in the background was once he major source of industry in Montreal.  

This building in the background was once he major source of industry in Montreal.  

​There was a lot to be seen, and I was just excited to see and capture it all. 

This is for the birds.  

This is for the birds.  

We got back to the loft, shortly after our return Lance, Charles, and Dustin arrived. Also the people who were flying in begun to arrive. Together we drove to Resto Griffintown and shared a meal and many selfies.

 

image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg

The next day would be when the magic started, so we all got to bed shortly after eating. (Some earlier than others) some stayed up dancing.  

 

image.jpg

Early morning rise for Friday, our models would be arriving at 8am for makeup and hair. In the meantime unbeknownst to me this is where the stretching would begin.  

 

 

image.jpg

Why do I say stretching, well while the models were getting ready we learned what the first challenge was. We first read the poem phenomenal woman, by Maya Angelou. By reading this, we were introduced to the story we had to tell through photography. Next, we were given our locations and finally our models. This sort of put me in a weird spot. So many unknowns, and so much to process. But, this is a workshop to make us grow both technically and qualitatively. It was hard to imagine what it would take to put all this together. I've never met my model (which would be normal in most photographic situations) I've never previously scouted out my location (a little more unnerving) and I hadn't enough time to really study the poem and reflect.  When I read anything for the first time it takes several times of rereading before I get the spirit of what I'm reading. So in this I was stretched. 

My partner in this process was stretched even further as he was shooting Nikon for the first time. So he was dealing with everything I was, along with a new piece of equipment.  

Everyone got with their models and headed out to their respective locations. We were having to our assigned spot. Mount Royal. (Coincidentally I just learned this is where Montreal gets its name from?). While we were in route I began talking to our model. And I soon realized she too was being stretched in this process. When we get to the location the sky opened up and started raining down some of the harshest light ever. We quickly make changes to our cameras while our model gets posed up. As soon as we prepared to shoot a billowy cloud rolled in. We adjust again and start shooting. Things still weren't quite popping, so we went for a new location where we might be able to control lighting a little more. 

At this point, we began to freelance in order to allow our model to shine. You see, before leaving we had story boarded some shots to go along with our interpretation on the poem. But we quickly learned in this instance that thinking out of the box can't nescessarily be pre planned. We kept shooting away, at one point two park employees came and parked their truck within the frame of the pictures. Our model, with no fear or trepidation, broke away to request that these men move their truck. We kept shooting hoping to luck into what we needed to tell the story. Eventually Lance made his rounds to us to check-in. He was able to immediately take control and get some unique poses and shots. I took note of what he did and how he handled this. Both his efficiency and confidence were amazing to watch. As quickly as he came and gave advice, was as quickly he left.  

Will and I returned, not quite sure if we accomplished the goals. While the pictures are great, did we convey the poem in a way that was believable, yet not obvious, while taking great pictures.  

As the others returned and I started getting glimpses of what my cohorts produced, I had a sinking feeling that we may have missed on this one. That rankled me as I'm very competitive, and I generally don't like to make mistakes. If I get beat, I want to get beat knowing I gave it my all. And to be honest I want sure if I had or not. A lot of second guessing that limited myself. To truly think outside of the box, most times I considered doing things with items in a way they weren't designed to. While staying within a given boundary. In this case, I feel like I missed because I didn't step outside of the boundary. 

Oh well, I needed to shake it off. We went on a walk to get some magic hour shots, it was fun to see everyone's face light up as they got the shot. It was a bit too crowded for me so I just worked on my exposure techniques off to the side for most this walk.

Afterwards, most of the team went out to eat. I stayed back with Cedric, Dustin, and Devin. When I saw Dustin and Devin getting ready to go out, I asked if I could invade and tag along. Cedric joined us as well. Now in this case Dustin and Devin were dressed well and being our models they just looked fantastic. I had to step up as well, so at least I looked like I belonged. Ced, on the other hand didn't care. 

We head out and walk. We find a spot that sounds like fun. We begin to go in. But are quickly turns back because Ced and his flip flops. Continuing I we find another place "Philemon". This time we arranged ourselves tightly in line and got in.  

I loved it here. Great mixture of hip hop music from last and present.  

 

image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg

Enjoyable night, the bartender gave us a round of shots just because we were enjoying ourselves. However after waking up early, that shot was enough to make me immediately sleepy. So shortly after we left. ​

image.jpg

Now, I have to point this out, Montreal enjoys their exotic car. On the walk back I was astounded at seeing these cars out and about. ​

image.jpg

On to the next day. This would be the individual challenge day. After feeling like I failed the day before. I was out to prove to myself that I can do this. I was paired with a different model and given my location assignment. Of course the nervous energy returned as I had not developed any repoire with this model. She was really quiet while getting her makeup and hair done. Well, I was certainly in for a surprise.  While driving to the location she told me that with English being her second language. She's normally really quiet until she gets into the flow of things. She was really helpful in getting me comfortable and able to focus on the task at hand.  So we walked and snapped pictures, the theme was artistry (as I took it). So we went for shots that promoted art.  

i was extremely happy with the our work that day, and this one,I knew win or lose, I did do my best. 

This evening after shooting, we had our first editing class lead by Angela. I learned a new way to do somethings. The methods I learn will help with editing speed for sure.  

Tonight we planned as a group to hit the nightlife of Montreal. We all got ready, and tried to take the town by storm.

image.jpg

 

Well the first place we went turned us back because we didn't have reservations. Odd, as this is was a club. I assume they meant we weren't on the list. We continued walking and found are way to club that was mostly dead. We brought it to life for about thirty minutes.  

I guess a decision made to go somewhere a little more "live". Which would normally be cool, but moving twenty people is like herding cats. ​

So the group with me grabbed the address and hiked it back to my car. However upon arriving we realized we had some how got two additional people with us. Well we made it work. 7 people in a compact Mercedes, not comfortable for anyone. But we got there. ​

We had VIP access here, didn't have to pay. But wow it was crowded. But I will say we were in the right place. Upon entering they were playing STL's own Nelly. The team danced the night away. Afterwards, I had to take the model that was with us home. It's a promise I made, but wow it was a long trip. I crawled into my bed at 5am. ​shortly after the sun came up

image.jpg

Waking up later that morning. It had begun to rain hard. I heard the team drumming up plans for a rain shoot. In the meantime one of the team members needed a ride back to her loft. I took her back assuming that the rest of the team that stayed in that building would be there as I had some editing and work to do.  However, this was not the case. By the time we got to the place the other team had left. I tried figuring out where they went via find my friends. But it wasn't clear. So I headed to see if I could get my own rain shots of the city sans models. Didn't work out to well, ally that happened was me getting soaked and acquiring some very drab cityscape pictures.  

I also had intended on getting some rain pictures of Devin and Dustin working out in the rain, but I missed on that too while I was searching for the rest of the team. I was pretty much in my feelings here. As I wanted to maximize all my opportunities here. And now I was losing precious time.  

Gustavo was up next with teaching. And wow I learned a lot about creating double exposure pictures and the appropriate use of masks in Photoshop. Again extremely helpful and I feel empowered by what I learned. After eating a nice home made meal by Cedric, we headed out for a night shoot. This was fun and the pictures are amazing that came from it. I'll share soon.  

The last day started, and it was pretty much running people to the airport and getting judged on our work. There were hard truths shared with me and pushed hard because I had already beaten myself up over it and it was just going on all over again. I had to sit there and take it. Knowing that I could and should of done better. Toni and Ryan executed awesomely on the first challenge. And Toni followed it up with a very bold submission for her individual shot. Bravo here. There was great work presented. 

So as I sat back and wondered what if. We decided to out and get one last shoot in. All of us were tired. But we had to take advantage of what was in front of us. After this shoot, a lot of miscommunication occurred and it left Gustavo and I together for one last meal. So we hiked up the road for some beer and food. While we were eating my model from the first shoot appears randomly. Well since given the opportunity, we took full advantage and asked if she would allow us a small sliver of time to photograph her with thee cityscape behind her.   

image.jpg

We literally had ten minutes once we got to the location to get shots we needed.  We snapped them up and got what we came for. I felt redeemed as I think these will be good. (Normally I go straight out of the camera, but there are some light touch ups needed for the environment) 

i went to bed satisfied, but also worried about the long drive back.  

Next morning, we planned to leave at 7am. We weren't quite ready to go. So 7am turned into 7:30ish

image.jpg

heading out of Montreal it began to rain and rain hard.  We drove through it, then made a turn for Niagara Falls. Now I have to speak for a moment here. If you ask someone to set a course for a destination. I figure that means you are going to follow them. Also, when caravanning wait on the others. 

Anyhow, let's say getting to the falls with everyone together was another adventure worthy of its own post.  

 

 

 

image.jpg

Anyhow 14 hours after reaching the falls. We got home.  

 

image.jpg

As they say in Montreal. Fin. 

The One About my 39th year of life and #7BillionStories

The One About my 39th year of life and #7BillionStories

Woo, I made it, thank you Lord. The 39th year is complete. Now starting my 40th year of operation. My 39th year was beautifully brutal. I think I learned more about myself this year. I learned more about my flaws.

This year of life I spent time in the hospital, and I spent time in Hawaii. This year of life I rediscovered my wife. This year of life I was challenged to be an effective leader. This year of life I set goals. This year of life I realized I how far I have to go.

I started this website to chart my journeys and quite frankly I haven't logged enough of my feelings. I switched jobs again for the 3rd year in a row. I want to stop playing goldilocks with my career and I hope I've finally found a proper fit for my skills and talent. This year I started playing my trombone again, its not a joyous sound yet, but I think I can get there.

This year I realized how much I miss my family, I guess it gets harder as I get older since I realize how finite life is. During these times of year, my wife and her family do a great job of filling in. But its never quite the same. With parents in the south, a sister in Europe, and another sister on the West Coast. Our time together has been brief and far apart.

So how am I kicking off my 40th year?  I start a journey to Montreal with several other photographers to participate in a workshop focusing on fashion. Look for #7BillionStories on Instagram/Facebook/twitter as we will be sharing our creations.

I plan on other adventures this year, I'd like to participate in autocross events. I'd like to complete some of the projects in my house during my 40th year. At the end of this 40th year, I would like to say I've seen all my family. These are my birthday wishes.

Peace and Love

-Kurt

The One About Phife Dawg The Funky Diabetic - Day 82 of 366 Edition

Its funny where we draw inspiration from. A lot of times its from family, many times its from someone purposely trying to be inspirational, while many others draw inspiration from God. I certainly draw inspiration from all of the above. In the case of my health I got inspired after watching a documentary about my favorite hip-hop group A Tribe Called Quest (ATCQ).

Background on me and the group, ATCQ provided the sound track to my teenage years. Living in Indiana my exposure to Hip Hop was limited in variety. In fact, really most of what I knew was what made it mainstream. There was a college station that played Hip Hop on certain nights, but for me I had to get my fix from watching MTV or BET. I can't remember when I first heard scenario. But the first time I heard it and heard the lexicon of both Q-Top and Phife Dawg I was hooked. Lines from Phife Dawg  like: "I'm vexed fuming I've had it up to here" did it for me. I know simple. But not quite. I've only heard my family ever use the word Vexed and for some odd reason that hooked me. After hearing that song I had to get the CD for myself. It was the first hip-hop album I ever purchased.

Let me pause for a bit, my parents were of the strict Christian during this time of my life and any album I brought in the house was at risk of being snapped for profane lyrics. Tribe wasn't squeaky clean, but it was something I could casually get away with listening to without fear.

The mixture of jazz, the spirit of Queens NY. The over confidence of Phife's rap and sprinkled with consciousness in the lyricsthey did it for me. Being an alien living in Indiana, their lyrics brought me back home to NY. 

Back to my original point because I could go on about my love of ATCQ forever: 

The documentary was extremely insightful into the history of group. It was extremely personal as well in so much that I learned a lot about Phife Dawg (Malik Taylor) struggle with diabetes. It was a shocking wake up call as he spoke about just not feeling well, his addiction to sugar, and his eventual need for a kidney transplant. Watching like this was a wake-up call. It was so raw and so real to me to hear his testimony about his disease and its effect on the group/family. It pains me to say that it woke me up mostly because I didn't want to end up like him.

I don't want to politicize this, but in many ways Phife Dawg's story pointed to our need in this country for affordable or universal healthcare. At the end of the day a man is potentially dead because earlier in his disease he couldn't afford proper treatment.  Fans came to his aid and raised money so he could get care. And let me remind everyone of the fact that being a Hip Hop star certainly doesn't mean millionaire. Strips to check blood sugar are still astronomically expensive. I am thankful that the Good Lord has blessed me with talents that have afforded with a job(s) that provided me with health care options. Not everyone has them, and furthermore Type-1 Diabetes isn't something you can just avoid. I hope this point isn't missed.

Thanks Phife Dawg for bringing attention to Diabetes.

Rest in Peace to the Funky Diabetic aka Phife Dawg

 

The one about days 34 through 40 - I'm lazy edition

I'm still in the midst of adjusting to my new job. Concentrating on learning everything about health care and how it relates to it has left me without mental time to wax poetic on life. I have grabbed some pictures though that sort of detailed the week between posts.  

 

Laziness is screenshots. But in this case his reminded me of when I saw Billy Joel in 2002. 

Laziness is screenshots. But in this case his reminded me of when I saw Billy Joel in 2002. 

I anipped this because I like to remind people that in basketball it's not always the coach

I anipped this because I like to remind people that in basketball it's not always the coach

Old friends. It's amazing how time flies and certain aspects of life remain the same.  

Old friends. It's amazing how time flies and certain aspects of life remain the same.  

Celebrating a good friend's birthday Ron Burgundy style.  

Celebrating a good friend's birthday Ron Burgundy style.  

Enjoying the day, doing some marketing for my friends at Bimmers R Us.  

Enjoying the day, doing some marketing for my friends at Bimmers R Us.  

I thought there was no crying in football

I thought there was no crying in football

Not bad

Not bad

Sometimes sprint does beat at&t, especially where I work. 

Sprint flexing its muscles.  

Sprint flexing its muscles.  

Remember this? 

Remember this? 

The one about day 33 of 366: the one about two downtowns

St. Louis metro area is a different beast. There is a trendy downtown area in Clayton and then there is the real downtown in Saint Louis. it's odd. The demographics very opposite of each other. In a sense it would be as if you took any other city's downtown midtown and uptown 12 miles apart you would have Saint Louis. 

In a sense this separation and distinction demonstrates a lot of the issues of Saint Louis the county versus Saint Louis the city. The scene of elitism and classicism with these two locales. Now in this I am metaphorically speaking. But living here you can see the differences in the pride of Clayton and how it's protected versus the punching bag of Saint Louis the city. It's interesting as I wonder what would this look. Like if the city (when it was elite) never separated from the poor country folk in the county. Now today the elite of the county don't want to get together with the city. For the same reason they separated to protect their interests and their money even though a marriage would be best for the region. The warped crime statistics would be less egregious, the duplicate government functions would cease allowing for greater distribution of services to places of need without damaging the status quo. 

But alas this will never happen as this would make too much sense and would be too close to helping the greater good in Saint Louis. 

 

Today day 33 shows the skyline of Clayton.  

Today day 33 shows the skyline of Clayton.  

The skyline of Saint Louis the city from day 28.  

The skyline of Saint Louis the city from day 28.  

The one about day 32 of 366: jerk chicken edition

Today was the day. Today I finally saw what I was curious about. Today I had jerk chicken at the company bistro at my new job. Yup, I heard more about the cafeteria than I did about the company itself. And you know what, it was tasty and legit for not being authentic.  

 

image.jpg

The job looks to be everything I was thinking it would be. And you know what, I felt good about myself for the first time in a long time. Congrats from every representative of the company for making it in. And overall a respect for doing things right was laced all over today's on boarding. Not to mention I'll be in this on boarding process for another 9 days as I learn every aspect of the company as it relates to IT.  

I feel I have a lot to prove to myself still and perhaps this will be a great platform to execute and restore my confidence in my technical abilities.  

 

The one about day 31 of 366 : cruising to breakfast edition

This post was supposed to be epic. I got a dashcam, it was charged and I was ready to record my adventures to share. Well, apparently the battery in my dash cam doesn't last long. When we all got started to roll out my battery died. Oh well, next time.  

This was my most comfortable time out. I don't know if it's because of all my time playing Forza 6 with a real wheel and pedals or if it was the zhp suspension parts recently installed on my e46 330ci. It's most likely a combination of the two. The car responded well to the elevation change+turn scenarios that our course was populated with.  

Had a great time overall and have new respect for my car. Looking forward to auto cross season now.  

 

F30 M3 + E36 M3 + E46 330ci

F30 M3 + E36 M3 + E46 330ci

Dutzow Deli. Tasty eats.  

Dutzow Deli. Tasty eats.  

The about day 30 of 366: Bro trucks edition.

This past weekend the swagless crew went to the Saint Louis car show. I'm amazed at how expensive cars are in general. In my previous post I spoke about buying a Porsche next year, well after seeing what new cars and trucks cost, the Porsche is crazy reasonable. Anyhow, many of the vehicles we were hoping to see weren't here. But what was here was America. And by that I mean Bro-Trucks. My 14 year old has taught me new vernacular, bro truck makes me laugh.  

 

My boy and his favorite thing. Not really.  

My boy and his favorite thing. Not really.